Horse Illustrated Magazine

Then:
Between classes you flirt with the cute guys in the ring crew.

Now:
Throughout the day you confirm the precise location of the EMT.

Then:
You excitedly ask the sales clerk, “Where are those new, low-rise booty jeans?”

Now:
You quietly ask the sales clerk, “What do you have that compresses cellulite?”

Then:
Your horse’s nickname honors a pop star or TV idol (or the character from a vampire novel).

Now:
Your horses are given the names you would’ve chosen for your children (if you’d had any).

Then:
You decide that turquoise and neon pink shall be your barn colors, and everything must match.

Now:
Heather gray and denim blue seem to camouflage horse slobber. Thus they become your barn colors.

Then:
You wear boots with a pair of shorts and ride your horse bareback.

Now:
Either you ride at sunrise or you make it a spa day… for you and your horse.

Then:
Regardless of the storyline, you’re captivated by watching beautiful horses on the big screen.

Now:
You spend 90 minutes in the dark critiquing the woeful riding skills of the actors.

Then:
Your wardrobe includes a smattering of equestrian jewelry and fabric with horsey imagery. It makes your connection to horses believable.

Now:
Your jacket bears chew marks and your jeans are stained with purple thrush medicine. No one doubts that you’re a true horsewoman.