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Categories: Horse Illustrated

Stable Advice: Don’t Judge Me

Editor’s Note: Horse Illustrated is introducing a new column for 2015. Stable Advice is a place for our readers to offer their advice on some of those uniquely equestrian problems. These aren’t the questions that you’d normally ask your vet or trainer. These are questions about horse life, like dealing with interpersonal struggles at the barn, juggling horse commitments and “real world” obligations, and generally navigating the challenges of living in the 21st-century horse world. Think of this as a place to share advice with a group of your best equestrian friends.



 



This month’s Stable Advice question:

Like most horse owners, I work hard and make sacrifices to have a horse. I spend my weekends mucking stalls to offset my board bill. I have a modest home and car. I haven’t been on a vacation in years, and my clothes all come from the clearance rack at discount stores. So why do I get so much shade for owning a horse?

Even though I live independently, my parents still question me all the time about my finances and my horse’s bills. My non-horsey friends make jokes about how I must have a secret trust fund to afford my equestrian hobby. I know my parents are just worried about me because they’re my parents, and I know my friends think they’re just teasing, but it still stings.

I’d love to know what other horse owners do to deflect these comments, or better yet, help non-horse people understand that riding isn’t really all that different from other hobbies and habits that people choose to spend their money on. I’m proud of myself for managing my life and finances well enough to be able to own a horse. How do I get other people in my life to respect that?

Have you been through this? Have any advice for this reader? Click “Submit a Comment” below to share it. Some of the best responses will be featured in a future issue of Horse Illustrated!

This month, Noble Outfitters is sponsoring the Rider Insider column in Horse Illustrated with a prize for the selected featured response. If you’d like to be considered
for a prize, make sure to include your contact info in the email field
of the comment form (emails will not be publicly displayed.)

See all Stable Advice questions >>

Horse Illustrated

Horse Illustrated is the magazine for people who are passionate about horses. Each issue offers advice on horse health and care, plus user-friendly training tips for both English and western riders and engaging lifestyle features for horse lovers.

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  • You just said it in your question, but tell them that you are proud of yourself for managing your life and finances well enough to be able to own a horse. A lot of people assume that horses are a huge money drainer (which they are0, but so are expensive brand name clothes. And vacations. And a lot of other things. Also, lot of people don't understand that horses are worth the money.

  • My first impulse, is to say find different friends....but that is not always easy, specially if you work with these same people.
    Explain the benefits of exercise, fresh air, being outside, and all the mental benefits, of being a horse owner.

  • I went through the same thing with my parents when I first moved out on my own. You can help ease their concerns by demonstrating that you are taking your finances seriously. Next time they bring it up, tell them that you've set up a savings account for emergencies, or whatever you've done to make sure you don't get in trouble financially because of your horse. Eventually they'll realize that you're an adult, you aren't being reckless with your income by owning a horse, and in fact, having that added expense makes you more careful and responsible with your money than a lot of your peers. And if they don't? Well, just know that their concern comes from a place of love and try to put up with it. Good luck!

  • I live in a horse filled world alone... No one in my family shares a passion for horses like me.I am only a young teenager, but have big dreams of starting my own Miniature Horse Training Business, but my problem is no adults want to trust their mini with a teen... My family and friends don't understand some of the things I do or say when it comes to horses. My parents are very involved, but are not crazy horse lovers like me... My dream as an older teenager is to rescue orphaned foals and foals with disabilities, and find good them safe, secure, and loving homes... I hope that people share my dream, and will try to make the world a better place for horses!

  • Lots of people have hobbies. Mine and yours is horses! We like to spend our money on that instead of on other things. Find a correlation to what your non-horsey friends spend their money on. It might help

  • I've done without a gallon of milk in trade for a bale of hay. I have two previous little dogs. I love them dearly. But the bond between human and your horse almost defies words.

  • I've done without a gallon of milk in trade for a bale of hay. I have two previous little dogs. I love them dearly. But the bond between human and your horse almost defies words.

  • I've done without a gallon of milk in trade for a bale of hay. I have two previous little dogs. I love them dearly. But the bond between human and your horse almost defies words.

  • I tell them the truth: my horse is my therapy. He helps me manage and stabilize my bipolar disorder. He is MUCH cheaper than a therapist. It helps that both my meds doc and husband support me in this. My husband goes so far as to say he'll never let me sell my horse after seeing the outright calm and serenity I manifest after spending time at the barn.

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