HI Spy: How do you Deal with the Local Know-it-All?

There’s an old saying that free advice is worth what you pay for it. In other words, it’s often worth nothing. But there is a lot of advice freely offered in the horse world. In fact, nearly every boarding facility has its resident know-it-all. They’re more than willing to advise you on how to saddle your horse, train your horse, feed your horse, trailer your horse and doctor your horse whether or not you actually care to listen.

In all fairness, sometimes an experienced horseperson will offer unsolicited advice as an intervention in order to prevent a potential tragedy. For example, perhaps they notice that a cinch isn’t tightened or a horse is missing a front shoe. But we’re not focusing on these kindhearted individuals. We’re concerned with that one person you try to avoid at the feed store because they can’t help but counsel you on which grain, pellet or supplement to buy. We’re also interested in the one rider who constantly informs you that your horse is counter-bent, over-bridled, too fast or too slow. You know the type.

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While we don’t want you to mention any names, we would like to hear how you personally deal with the ubiquitous know-it-all. What do you do when you’re given advice that you didn’t ask for? How do you react when you know that the advice is completely contrary to what you know in your heart is correct? Do you instigate a know-it-all smackdown and put them in their rightful place? Do you remain diplomatic, smile politely, and then continue with what you were doing on your own, anyway? Do you respond with something blunt like, “Thanks, but I’d prefer to follow my vet’s advice”? Or do you run and hide behind the tack room whenever you see the busy body approaching?

This is an opportunity for you to share your wisdom. Just click on Submit a Comment below and share your best tip for handling nosy know-it-alls. Some of the responses may be featured in an upcoming issue of Horse Illustrated.

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Sammy says:
July 30, 2009 at 6:31 am
When ever our barn "know it all" comes around I start talking to my horse or busy myself, so I look preoccupied...but then when they start to say something I just give a quick look nod my head say oh ok, yup, got it, or I say oh sorry. On rides, to avoid a know it all, I just ride on the other side of the arena or say if they are trying to 'correct' something in my riding, "I'm doin' what my instructor said to do'.
Rachel says:
July 30, 2009 at 6:58 am
Well I don't board, so when it comes to know-it-all's, my ex-ferriar is one. You think he would actually know alot, but really, he thinks that there is only 1 way one doing things, his way. So when he would talk while trimming, I would nod my head and say "yup" or "okay", but actully just tune out not listen to anything he would say. So in the end, I got a new ferriar.
Lindsay says:
July 30, 2009 at 8:33 am
The owner of my riding barn DOES know it all, but it is a good thing, as she tries to help us with things that we didnt know. Its for the horses and peoples saftey.
Katie says:
July 30, 2009 at 8:41 am
My ex-trainer was somewhat like that. I got and awesome new trainer last year. His daughter also helps me a ton. She knows she doesn't know it all. In my opinion she knows most of it. She knows she will always be learning. I try to avoid my ex-trainer now. When I do see her I just say okay and tune out the info. I am really careful about who I trust now because my ex-trainer really messed me up.
Kristina says:
July 30, 2009 at 11:50 am
We had a woman like this at our farm. She owned a Standardbred that she got from a rescue. I swear she knew everything, or at least thought she did. She was going to "break" this horse and he was going to be the best. Of course, it would have helped if the horse would even come to her in the field. She would take grain with her and he still wouldn't come. Anyway, I avoided her most of the time but, if caught, I did my best to direct the conversation elsewheres so I wouldn't be put in a position to tell her what she could do with her "free advice." Eventually, she left the farm. And there was a huge sigh of relief heard throughout the land!
Catherine says:
July 30, 2009 at 7:06 pm
Ugh! Know it alls drive me up the wall! There is this one person at my stable who my instructor assigned to 'help me' if I REQUESTED help! I didn't, but they came in the stall where I was tacking up the horse I was to ride and redid every single boot and told me how to put them on and then said, "You can just go get your helmet while I put your bridle on!" I was furious! I love time with this horse... Then she walked him for me to the arena and nodded to my instructor saying, "Don't worry, I helped her!" And I was perfectly capable of doing this alone! I mean, she was only trying to be kind... But I wish I had've told her I was okay to do it alone...
Kaela says:
July 31, 2009 at 7:58 am
I know! I have a know it all were I ride. I was tacking up one day and she came and told me how to and I know how to. She would be behind me and tell me what I did wrong,well what she thinks is wrong. Like when I'm riding she tells me what to do on Ople. AND I KNOW WHAT TO DO! She is so annoying.
dana says:
July 31, 2009 at 11:00 am
oh lord. i have too many know it all's in my life. once a lady told me i was putting too much fly spray on my horse and i was going to kill my horse because of it. and then another lady was watching when i was putting my bridle on and she goes "here these things annoy horses" and she re-did my entire bridle when it was perfectly fine!! i usually put htem in their place though.
Shannon says:
July 31, 2009 at 3:01 pm
There are a couple know-it-alls in my life. One is a boy who has been riding 1/3 as long as me and thinks everybody else does it wrong and he does it right. When he gives me "advice" i just nod and say thanks and keep doin things the way i think they work best. Another would give good advice but also some bad advice. she would give some pointers that i found really helped but some just wouldn't work on my horse. but i still thanked her and used the good advice.
Steph says:
July 31, 2009 at 3:05 pm
I personally always try to take something from it. I feel that we as people can always learn something from every situation. Then when the advice is given I reply with. "Thank you for sharing the way you do that and why with me. I feel that there are many different and all as equally good ways to get from point A to point B, although I do like (pick one positive thing out of what they said) and maybe I will give that a try next time I ride. Thank You for the advice." Then walk (and sometimes run...lol...) away.