Horse Illustrated Magazine

Ever wonder what a holiday newsletter might be like if it were written from the perspective of a lifelong horsewoman? I have.

The traditional holiday newsletter is typically tucked inside a greeting card. For several pages the sender rambles on about their family’s challenges and accomplishments over the past year. I’m not much for writing such things. I’ll I have to do is scribble at the bottom of my Christmas cards: “P.S. If you want to know more about what I’ve been up to, read my blog.”

But because I’m feeling a creative spark, here’s my totally fabricated spoof of a holiday newsletter that a dedicated backyard horsewoman might write:

Dear Friends,

My, 2009 has been full of surprises! As you’ll recall, we’ve had problems with our neighbors on the east side of the property for quite some time. Things finally came to a head last March when their spotted Andalusian stallion busted through the fence line, into our pasture. Our best cremello Walkaloosa mare, Midget, just happened to be in heat. The laws of Nature ruled that day! The foal is due in late February. We aren’t sure what to expect, but chances are it’ll be colorful!

The kids are doing fine. Tim rode well at the reining finals and came home with his first silver buckle. Katie continues to excel at school. Her fifth grade teacher says she is a wonderful student. However, there was one instance where I got a phone call from Principal Evans. Apparently, during Show and Tell, Katie had shared in graphic detail how Sparky had gotten his sheath cleaned over the weekend. Aren’t kids a constant source of amusement?

Finally, I wanted to thank you for all the get well cards and good wishes for my dear husband, Clint. He’s up and walking around now. For those of you who didn’t hear, Clint slipped and fell on some ice coming out of the tack room the day after Thanksgiving. Fortunately, the vet—Dr. Barker—happened to be out at our place x-raying Old Sparky for ring bone. So Doc Barker just shot a couple of shots of Clint’s leg and, sure enough, he had a hairline fracture of his ankle. I wasn’t sure that Doc Barker should put a cast on Clint’s leg, so I took the x-ray films up to the hospital with Clint in the backseat. The staff at the emergency room was so wonderful. But I think we really threw the orthopedic surgeon for a loop because I handed him the set of x-rays and forgot that shots of Sparky’s fetlock were in there.

Oh well, guess I’d better sign off. The price of hay being what it is, we can’t afford fancy Christmas gifts this year. I hope you all understand. But if you’re ever out this way you’re all invited to have a try at riding Bandit. Eventually someone will click with him and he’ll finally stop trying to pitch people off. (Don’t worry. We’ll have you ride him around the manure pile and compost bin so if you get dumped it’ll be a soft landing).

Best Wishes and Happy Holidays,

Lorraine, Clint, Tim, Katie and all the Horses

Back to Life with Horses