Lately I’ve taken on the job of unpaid horse sale ad browser. A couple of my friends are horse shopping and haven’t the time to cull through the herds of ads, so I volunteered. I’ve spent hours browsing online equine ad sites and boy, has this been an education! My eyes have been opened. I had no idea that so many horses of so many types are for sale in so many price ranges.
Sorrel Mare: “She’s very fast once she gets out on the trails. Good luck to your friends trying to keep up with you.”
Bay gelding: “He likes to do his own thing when you’re in the saddle.”
Morgan gelding: “Goes good under saddle. Nice driving prospect, too. Just put in harness for the first time and he didn’t put up too much of a fight.”
Then these ads seem to reveal more about the sellers than the horses:
Older bay gelding: “A been there, done that kind of horse. My novice husband rides him down busy streets in tennis shoes with a beer in his hand.”
Sorrel gelding: “I ride him bareback and I’m barefooted all the time, he’s that trustworthy.”
And then there are ads that are trying to say something, but the words just get in the way:
Ungelded 5-year-old buckskin: “He really likes to be around other horses.” (Like, duh!)
Ranch horse prospect: “Hasn’t been exposed to cattle, but he’s seen them at a distance.” (Is that like not being exposed to Swine Flu, but having been stuck in line at Walmart behind someone who was coughing?)
Of course, I have to also offer up one of the online trainer ads I discovered. This is from a 15-year-old girl. Yes, I said a 15-year-old: “I have alot of experiment in numerous training and can do about anything: colt starting, problem horses, bad habbits, jumping, dressage, western and many more.” (I was also a gutsy15-year-old girl…. Once. But even I would’ve admitted back then that it was pretty much mathematically impossible to have amassed enough “experiment” at that stage of my life to address horse behavioral issues as well as handle disciplines as different as colt starting and jumping. Yet I do admire her entrepreneurial chutzpah.)
Now you see what I’ve been finding online? If you’ve done any horse-related shopping online, then you’re aware of what’s out there. Maybe I should tell my horse hunting friends that they at least owe me lunch for my services.
Back to Life with Horses
These are funny. Craigslist is a never ending source of them..
Ick horse shopping. Either half of the people never call back or the horse is lame. Still looking though….
I love the ads where the horse isn’t registered so there’s no proof of age and then the horse always seems to be 10 years old. Like that’s the magic number. Have you noticed that?
Oh, dear. I love the one about the ungelded 5-yr-old.
I’m a bit of a horse classifieds hunter myself (purely for education and entertainment, not currently looking to buy).
I’ve seen some pretty dumb/crazy stuff (mostly in the paper); for instance,
Someone trying to sell a horse of unstated gender/breed, for $200, stating that it “needs broke”.
A miniature horse for sale, with the only description being “stud, broke for children” (hey, that sounds like a lot of fun for the kids!)
Multiple people trying to sell zebras (Uh-huh, zebras)
People trying to sell “john” donkeys, “Phillies”, and “Spotted Horses of America” (if any of those exist, please educate me).
But I think the grand prize goes to an ad I saw on the web, of an equine similar to a heavy exmoor pony, with FOUR 16-yr-olds on the poor thing’s back (the front one on it’s withers, the back one on it’s croup). The ad boasted “gorgeous, bombproof, and even rides and drives!” (I wouldn’t put up much fight if my back was broken, either) And it said Sold. I sincerely hope it was a good samaritan that didn’t intend on ever using it for anything at all physical.
One time i read of a gelding for lease….Gelding is 8 years old, green but very sweet he is gray and a pony…beginners can ride him and will love him! He loves beginners!
My favorites:
-10, 12, even 13 year-old “prospects”
-horses advertised as 16 hands that barely top out at 15h
-2 year olds advertised as “child safe”
ONCE AGAIN, I ENJOY READING ALL OF YOUR COMMENTS. SOMETIMES READING HORSE SALE ADS ARE GREAT ENTERTAINMENT, ALTHOUGH OTHER TIMES I JUST END UP FEELING SORRY FOR SOME OF THE FORLORN ADS FOR PATHETIC HORSES (AND ZEBRAS!) THAT PRETTY MUCH NO ONE IS GOING TO WANT.
MY SISTER FOUND ONE AD FOR AN OLDER THOROUGHBRED “PROJECT” THAT WAS FOR SALE FOR NEXT TO NOTHING. THE AD LITERALLY SAID THAT THE HORSE REARED EVERYTIME THE SADDLE WAS PUT ON ITS BACK. THE AD WENT ON TO SAY SOMETHING LIKE, “SO MAYBE IF YOU’RE A TRAINER YOU CAN FIGURE OUT HOW TO FIX IT.” HMMMM…. HAVE THEY THOUGHT OF FORKING OUT THEIR MONEY TO A TRAINER? OR AT LEAST A VET TO MAKE SURE THE HORSE DOESN’T HAVE AN INCREDIBLY SORE BACK OR WITHERS THAT ARE CAUSING THIS BEHAVIOR? GEEZ….
Too bad that some people don’t want to pay for a vet if they’ve already decided to sell the horse.
My favorite are the teenaged mares who have done nothing but have foals yet they’re going to magically transform into perfect deadbroke pleasure horses as soon as you swing your leg over their back.
The sad thing is there are so many clueless “Horse People” out there that think they know a thing or two about horses but actually know very little. Its the poor horses that suffer from their ignorance.
Yes there’s a couple selling horses out of pilot point texas and every horse is a unicorn until you buy one. Their write ups are almost identical for every horse but their reviews say differently. They were so bad they had to change the name they advertise under